cyberbarf

ARE PODCASTS DEAD? PODCAST

Well, let's answer the Question by having a . . . . podcast on the subject! The old Barf Bag has not been used for more than a Year. Is Ralph still interning here? Let's see . . . . Are Podcasts Dead?

cyberbarf

A ROUND OF GOOF MISAPPLICATION

Golfers, by and large, are strange breed. Always looking for the next great gadget to snip a few strokes off the average high scoring round. A multi-billion dollar industry of hackers of not generally the computer kind consumes anything with the hope of curing a slice.

There is an app for everything, including caddy yardage. The iApp store contains a GPS infused yardage book for more than 1500 golf courses in United States. Made for the iPhone, it claims to give the techno-golfer the edge: yardage to the front of the green, middle of the green and back of the green. It also states the carry, or how much the ball must fly into the air, to make it to the green. In our cold fusion-end of the season cold round of golf, the iApp was about 3 to 5 yards different from the markers on the actual course. The program also appeared to drain power (but it could have been the cold temps, too), down to 60% battery life after only 6 holes. The iPhone owner liked the application, but did it improve his game? Not really.

As Ski recalls in chilling detail:

My brother told me that we “must” play a final round of golf on Sunday, in mid-November.

We "had" to play one . . .more . . . round.

I told him he was nuts. Besides having only played maybe four rounds all year, I told him it would be bone chilling cold. No, he “assured” me that it would be another temperate 60 degree crisp fall day like Saturday. Saturday, another one of those thick files in my personal overflowing cabinet called "I Don't Control My Schedule." After work, I had a family birthday party: my youngest nephew (ZAP) is turning one. So I had to attend that get-together. However, my older nephew was playing in his club football championship game, so I had to go film the game because my brother and sister-in-law readily admit they film like they are running wildly through the woods. The game at old Palatine High Ost Field was calm, 60, sunny, and no wind.

So after the victory, I return to the ZAP party to find the little tyke had too much from the mountain of presents that he decided to go to sleep and nap the rest of the day away. Smart kid. That left the “adults” to badger me into playing golf on Sunday.

I could hear the echo of the NFL Films announcer in the back memory banks in my brain set up “the dark, gray, over cast skies” pallor of lugging the clubs into the trunk of the car. Outside dash temp read 45. When I pulled into the golf course a half hour later, the temp report was 46. There were only six cars in the parking lot (two for employees I determined).

So at 11 a.m. there were only a couple of other fools running around the landscape. One old man looked like he was an escapee from a nursing home. The cashier said this was the last day the course would be open. As the rest of the foursome arrived, they asked if I was excited about the day, and I bluntly said no.

But the badgers kept to their story: Oh, it will get in the high 50s, maybe 60, and be fine if the northern breeze lets up . . . a little.

It was like playing in a refrigerator. Three layers of clothes did not help as I switched back to my letterman jacket after each shot, like Tom Brady on a cold New England side line, after a series of frustrating downs. Skying shots into the cold breeze got knocked down like hitting the roof of a frozen Quonset hut.

I was wary of hunters hiding in the bushes as I would come down to the edges of the ponds looking for an errant shot. The day got colder with each hole, as the breeze began to pick up . . . enough for some to use winter gloves on each shot. Not me. I kept going on, as a veteran of past fall rounds in the sleet, hail, rain and fog . . . good shot, then bad shot (usually because I forgot to take off the jacket), lip out long putt . . . a typical rusty round.

By the end of nine holes, the gung ho organizers were freezing blue when they suggested whether to call it quits. I could have played the back nine, but decided to take the bitter “I told you so” route of saying “Fine with me.”

Golf is defined as a nice walk in the park . . . . ruined. Add an Antarctic expedition to the equation, call it Dumb.

cyberbarf

THE WHETHER REPORT

cyberbarf

STATUS

* Educated Guess

* Possible

* Probable

* Beyond a Reasonable Doubt

* Doubtful

* Vapor Dream

* Educated Guess

* Possible

* Probable

* Beyond a Reasonable Doubt

* Doubtful

* Vapor Dream

* Educated Guess

* Possible

* Probable

* Beyond a Reasonable Doubt

* Doubtful

* Vapor Dream

cyberbarf

iTOONS

cyberbarf

LIT FOR TWIT BARFERATURE

As we have mentioned before, the whole 140 character messaging limitation of Twitter has fostered the ill of people unable or unwilling to make comprehensive sentences for their text messages. Other critics have thought the issue of the character restriction has spawned a generation of grammerless acron-text smiths who have lost the art of word imagery. But it also made some scholars think they could tame the Twitter message beast by concentrating a story into 140 characters or less. Well, that is a challenge which we decided to take to this page. Instead of merely stringing words together, we decided to blend graphics to the twitterature structure to create the mosaic form of new expression we call BARFERATURE.

Our first BARFERATURE story board is called: CROSSING THE ROAD.

SHE HAS A SNEER ON HER FACE; AND A SNARKY QUIP ON HER TONGUE;

IT'S NOT WHY THE FARM GIRL CROSSES THE ROAD BUT HOW.

 

 

 

cyberbarf

NEXT PRODUCTION BLOG

As we have been saying for the past several months, two cyberbarf staples, DR. PHILISTINE and RAPTER AGENT are concluding their serials this month. (They will remain in the Komix archives for those just finding them.)

Cartoons have always been a part of the BARF experience, first through iToons editorial cartoons with an internet-technology tint, to the idea of a comic strip(s) launched three years ago. We plan to continue on with this graphic theme in the future. There has been an internal debate of what would replace DR. PHILISTINE or RAPTER AGENT.

There were many concepts creeping around the creases of the brain tissue. But the paramount importance was how the new strip would be constructed: old school or high tech. Everyone has their own drawing style. Likewise, everyone has their own production style. Ski's usual M.O. is to sit down and grind out several month's worth at a time to stay ahead of the publication schedule. The existing strips were finished in late 2008, a year ahead of this month's finales. It is easier to do that than rush to finish a graphic or delay the uploading of the full publication.

It came down to Time. It always comes down to Time. Time is the worst master in the universe. What took the most productive use of Time has to be considered before starting the new creative adventure. Initially, it was thought that hand drawing, lettering and inking strips would be a new “retro” style. This would mean sketching on paper the layout, design, characters; then inking the boxes and dialogue; then scanning the material into the computer; then cleaning up the elements as need be; then save the files in the appropriate compression format. Pros: the hand drawn style would be different and possibly artistically rewarding; Cons: that's a lot of new steps in the current production work flow.

Then there was the option of finding a new style by acquiring one of those integrated comic/manga drawing programs. The concept is combine a drawing with a page layout - lettering format word processing program. Ski has used a very simple comic creator program in the past to import images from paint programs. Anime and manga has its own unique character style, like combining the Keane sad painting eyes with spikey haired punk rockers. It probably would not have taken long to learn a new computer application but: Pros: not very expensive, promise of more productivity in a single package; Cons: Windows, which is like going on a diet consisting of leeches and intestine eating wolverines. No thanks.

“Don't Fix What Ain't Broken” seemed to be the default answer to this internal debate. Then, we recalled what our late tech guru once said about several of his students who used Photoshop to create their graphics and paintings. We have used layers before to composite photographs. But it was a new way of tackling the problem of drawing panels. If one set their new strip in specific sets, then using the layering feature with master files, one could easily save time on background creation and/or reuse. So it was decided to use an old program in a new way to create the next Real News Komix. To complete the style and format, it was decided to use a traditional four panel format.

The final decision was what the new strip would be about. After reviewing some very very very old site prototypes, he came across a concept that still rings true today: the ills of technology and how computers can turn on their masters. An old idea that was kicked around before this site started will finally get its day in the sun. We will have new comic character to compliment the iToons on a monthly basis. And best of all, in this journey to find a new creative outlet, we fell back into old notes and old programs which was part of the basis of this site's title. The new strip will be called cyberbarf! It will debut in January, 2010.