cyberbarf

EXAMINE THE NET WAY OF LIFE

Vol. 3 No. 6

January, 2004

 

Swap Meat

iToon on Voice Mail

Technophile Quiz

iToon on Vaporware

Wild Unfounded Tech Predictions

iToon on Mad Lab Monkey

IE IE OH

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EXAMINE THE NET WAY OF LIFE

Swap Meat

I am surprised that no college students, with digital savvy free time on their hands, have unleashed a counterassault against the RIAA in rebellion against the download copyright lawsuits. I am surprised that I have not heard a familiar KISS rock anthem beat:

I, WANT TO DOWNLOAD ALL NIGHT ---

AND SWAP EM ALL DAY;

I, WANT TO DOWNLOAD ALL NIGHT ---

AND SWAP EM ALL DAY!

If the kids were swapping millions of their own parody songs, then there is no case against the swappers. Parody songs are a form a fair use, protected expressions of free speech, and a defense against an action of infringement. If the swap technology can be shown that it is used for other non-infringing non-commercial uses (like prior technologies like video and cassette recorders), then the peer to peer file sharing system could be granted legitimate legal status.

It may be the only way to slow down the RIAA waves of lawsuits. It will not stop. Why? It was reported that the plaintiffs have settled approximately 380 of the first wave of lawsuits for an average settlement of $3,000. That equates to $1.14 million in collected damages. This may be more profitable than actual record sales. And in a slow economy, it is another little legal cottage industry that shows profit potential.

Even serious songs can be remixed. Suzanne Vega cover your ears when you hear:

MY NAME IS PUKA, I BARF FROM THE SECOND FLOOR

DON'T LOOK UP WHEN YOU GO OUT THE FRONT DOOR.

 

 

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Technophile Quiz

Being cool is not wearing a leather jacket, sneaking a smoke or cursing a blue streak behind your parents back...all those things have been front and center for years. It is almost conformity. To be cool means to have outrageous disposal cash for luxury items, like $100 for a pair of sneakers. Cool tech means cool gadgets. Being cool means that you have paid the premium to be on the cutting edge.

Quiz time:

The answers are yes, no or dead (as in the device no longer functions).

Do you own any of the following:

1. Home computer

2. Use DSL internet access

3. Own web site

4. Cellphone

5. Laptop computer

6. PDA

7. Scanner

8. Color printer

9. Color laser printer

10. CD player

11. DVD player

12. CD burner

13. DVD burner

14. Use a wireless network

15. Bluetooth device

16. Digital camera

17. Digital camcorder

18. DVD camcorder

19. TiVo

20. Cable TV

21. SatTV

22. Use Internet telephone service

23. Use iChat/iSight teleconferencing

24. Rear projection television

25. Plasma television

26. Flat panel LCD television

27. Satellite radio

28. Car GPS

29. OnStar

30. A robotic pet

31. iPod/MP3 player

32. Hybrid electric vehicle

33. Segway

 

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Quiz scoring: give yourself one point for each YES answer. No points for No or dead device.

22-33 points equals a high consumption gadget freak

12-21 points equals a middle of the road techno-geek

1-11 points equals a bottom fishing primate

0 points equals technology coma patient.

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Wild Unfounded Tech Predictions

President Bush's new space exploration program will find that behind our solar system's sun is the solution to Earth's world hunger crisis - - - a giant, grilled meatball. The technology debate will be how to bring the meatball back to Earth, and whether anyone can make pasta noodles that big.

A California recycling company will stumble across a faster silicon microprocessor chip from used silicone breast implants. It will be first used to enhance character attributes in naked women sports games.

Instead of pestering Congress for more copyright extensions, Walt Disney vindicates the cryogenics field by returning from the Frozen Chosen to reclaim his company and in the process automatically extending his copyrights by another 100 years. His company then folds because Walt becomes a more popular attraction than the Magic Kingdom theme parks.

TechTV finds a way to broadcast its shows directly into the minds of each American in the lower 48 states. Leo Laporte becomes America's first papal godlike figure. Productivity falls to near zero as people close their eyes to be engulfed by the marvels of hip technology programming.

The Linux open source community is destroyed when the plaintiff, Opus, wins an historic trademark infringement suit and the courts order every single copy of Linux that sported the penguin logo destroyed.

Bill Gates desperately tries to diversify Microsoft from losing world market domination. He throws all his research and development budgets into products that everyone WILL have to use whether they want to or not. In his glory, his Microserfs find that Windows XP can be a lactate tolerant dairy substitute in food products. Windows Macaroni & Cheese becomes the most profitable product by Gates.

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MAD LAB MONKEY

 

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cyberbarf

IE IE OH

Part of the mission statement for this web page is to examine the pros and cons, through personal interactivity, of the Internet. In December, the first major webmaster problem has arisen with one of my sister sites, skirealnews.com.

I am using DW3 as the foundation for designing the sites. It has been operating good since I began three years ago. No real complaints. Pretty straight forward interface. No major bugs.

As the months past, with more and more content, came more and more traffic visitors. Great. No problem. Upload new items several times a week. Hit synch and be done in a minute or two.

Then about a year ago, during the uploads, the interface would freeze and crash routinely. But a restart with reconstructed cache seemed to do the trick. It was more an aggravation than a real problem.

But now, the problem has become hair pulling strange. The site uploads fine. But it will crash when IE5 blower tries to load the home page. The home page has not changed in weeks, just word information in the update box. So the index or home page had to be corrupted at the remote server. Restarted and reloaded the index page. No solution. Then I decided to reformat the home page, resave it, then upload it. It appears to work better, but some of the text is missing.

The page has always loaded fine in Netscape. The problem is with IE5, which is my default browser at home and at work. The other two sites load fine in IE5 so it is not DW3 that is creating a bad home page per se.

Tech support Rocky in Montana gave me a few suggestions to remedy the situation. We are still in drydock for a permanent solution.

Being frustrated webmaster is not a good thing. So I destroyed every single remote file that possibly could be an index or default page. I also reformatted the entire home page; cut it down, streamlined the page. Rocky said that was like using an AK-47 to remedy the situation. So?

The real problem was never found, per se. It may have been a rogue cache file. It may have been too much information being scrambled on the FTP upload. It may have just been bad luck.

I have also noticed that the web speed seems to be slower recently. A lot slower. Rocky presumes that it is college finals weeks and every kid in America is online cutting and pasting their term papers prior to holiday breaks. The overall sluggishness, like a worm attack for denial of service, may be a contributing factor in corrupting the home page file as it is routed to remote server. It may be more static/crap on the local phone lines, too. The telecom trucks are all over the suburbs recently laying cable faster than a politician shaking hands at a fundraiser.

And finally, Internet mapping is turning to slack. Typing in map directions into the browser is now a habit. The last destination, using two different direction finders, lead to the same off-course conclusion. More than a few miles off course. Usually, if the program can't find the exact address, there is a warning label attached to the directions or the map. But this time, the maps and directions were the same--- and the destination star was smack damn in the middle of a rural cornfield. One cell phone call to the destination office was the ticket to get to the appointment on time. On the return trip I vowed to acquire another road map--- just in case.

 

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